3

May not be an ordinary day

I spend the next two weeks not keeping my promises to my parents. Most times, when I think about it I feel guilty but the guilt passes quickly and I am left with emptiness. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. I have a happy family that love me and I have a happy life but I still this feeling inside of me.

It is like a void that needs to be filled and I don’t know what can fill it. My dreams have also become more frequent and this days I wake up sweating from head to toe – as though I am really soaked in water – and my chest heaving up and down.

This night the dream is the same. My body hits the water with a splash and immediately the current of the waters rides me. It swallows me and pulls me into its depths and no matter how much I struggle, I cannot come up. I know that I am very good at swimming – I don’t know how I know this but I do – but at this point, I cannot swim.

The water is freezing cold and the more I stay in it, the colder I become. I splash against the water, struggling to catch the shining moon above but all my efforts are futile. It is like the more I struggle, the deeper the water pushes me.

The waves are violent and they continue crashing into me, swaying me while I try to steady myself. And soon, I begin to get tired of struggling and close my eyes. I know what happens when I close my eyes but I cannot keep them open any longer.

The dream is always the same, have always been the same. I check my wrist watch and sigh. I have to get ready for the arrival of my parents so I head back into my room and peel open the medicine cabinet which is filled to the brim with drugs.

It is all the drugs which have been prescribed to me since I started having the dreams and I know I have been having the dreams for a very long time. I cannot remember when it started because it is a long time ago but they had caused me to have trouble sleeping so my mother had taken us to a doctor who prescribed all these drugs for me.

Over the years, I have changed so many drugs that I could not keep count of them again. Even the experimental ones, none of them worked.

I learned to live with it. It was like a disease which was feeding off me and I don’t know how long I had left. I usually always saw the dreams as visions of the future. Things that were to come – maybe the moon goddess was trying to show me how I died – but my mother always told me to disregard those thoughts.

I think it is because she is scared that my dream might really be a reality. A manifestation of the future. No mother wants to see her child die. I close my eyes and uncap a container of drug then pop one pill in my mouth. I swallow it without water, I am used to these things too much to even need water.

This is so that when I tell them later that I took the drug they will really believe me. My father has this sort of ability to detect lies. All werewolves have it I think, but some more sharper than others.

I am about to go to the toilet when I hear an urgent knock on my door. I spontaneously glance at the watch on my wrist – noting the time – then to the door. My parents are not supposed to be back till another hour and I am not expecting any visitors.

I usually don’t get many visitors – because I don’t keep friends – I figured that since I am going to be dying early, then there is no need to keep people around who would miss me when I am gone.

“please, hold on.” I say and dash into the bathroom to wash my face and appear a tad bit presentable.

“Crystal.” The person outside the door calls and there is a note of urgency that comes with his voice. I recognize the voice instantly and rush to the door, perhaps there is a problem in the pack? Would the beta really call my attention to something like that? Nope, that is the answer. The beta would never do that.

I ease my door open and peer at him. “Top of the morning to you too beta. Why do you grace my –”

He frowns. “Now’s not the time to be cute, Crystal. Something has happened and I need you to come with me immediately.”

I raise a brow and then glance behind him. “What happened?”

“We will talk in the car. For now, we have to go.” His voice is laced with something else that I cannot really place but I nod anyway.

“Can I at least get dressed and brush my teeth?” I ask but this question seems to irritate him. It does not put me out though, because the beta has always been irritated by me.

I think the mere fact that I exist irks him and although he tries to hide it, I can see right through him. He has never really liked me and I don’t care, really, I don’t. I have more important things to care about like how I might be dying in like five years or ten years? It could even be today, who knows?

“No, Crystal. This is very urgent.” He says through clenched teeth and I realized that whatever I’m doing must really be hitting him hard. His face is a glowering mask of rage, I sigh. It’s too early for me to see the mad side of the beta.

I step out into the hallway and close the door behind me. “Alright.” I gestured with a wave of my hand. “Let’s get moving.”

The beta almost jumps in front of me. His strides are long and fast and it’s hard to keep up with him. I wonder what must have happened to rile the beta so much and as rush towards the car, I try to prepare myself for it.

Whatever it was, I guess it wasn’t something which could wait till my parents returned. We usually had emergencies like this in the pack – with how large our pack was, it was really now ordinary – but we always had Alpha Aaron (my father) to take care of situations like this.