It's moments like this that remind me of just how screwed up this arrangement with Luca is. Luca and I might stand here with our hands all over each other, but in reality we're almost strangers - we know so little about each other.

"I might go grab myself a drink," I tell Luca. "Would you like anything?"

"I'll grab us drinks, love," he says. "I wouldn't be a gentleman if - "

"Nonsense. You and your brother are talking. I'll be right back." I stand up on ...