I wake to a knock at my door.

I roll over and rub my eyes. Isn't it a little early for visitors? My cell reads 9:13 AM, far earlier than I'd like to get up on a Saturday morning after a night of restless sleep.

The knock sounds again, and I groan.

"Go away!" I yell at the unwanted guest. This crappy apartment is tiny enough - and the walls thin enough - that I have no doubt he or she hears me.

It's only then that I remember the events of ...