NYRA

I thought coming here would be a mistake.

I thought it would make things worse, not better. That the noise would drill into my head, that the lights would hurt my eyes, that I would still be thinking of Jackson the same way I had been thinking of him for days now, it was too much, too deeply, in ways I didn’t want to admit.

I didn’t even know what was wrong with my heart anymore. I couldn’t tell if it was hard or if it was just hurt. All I knew was that it felt heavy. Like ...