I stared up at the ceiling, blinking repeatedly, the blanket drawn up to my chin, the air conditioner off, but I still felt cold. It wasn't a physical cold. It was the kind of cold that was deep-rooted, that has lodged itself deep inside my soul. 

What was I doing? What was wrong with me? What was this feeling in my chest? Why did everything with Kade feel so… overwhelming? Why did it feel so intense? 

For the past five or so years, I've felt… shallow, like I had this hole in me ...