Mila took longer than she'd like to seek out Luara, not from lack of need, but because recognizing confusion aloud always requires crossing layer of pride not easily undone, and at that stage, admitting she no longer knew what she felt seemed more frightening than continuing to feign control. She spent days reorganizing thoughts, rehearsing phrases never said, trying to fit contradictory emotions into safe categories, until realizing none sustained when confronted with raw reality of what ...