The Cashel Pack compound wasn’t large enough for Ryan to walk his frustration away. He had started off pacing the length of the house he lived in, which stood on the uppermost hill in the compound.

But this had not worked to assuage his anxiety.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he set off across the wilds of Ballycroy, running across the bracken and turf in just shorts and sneakers, even acthough it was near freezing temperatures.

The cold did not bother Ryan. The part of him that was a werewolf, the part of him that was base and feral, kept his core warm. He always had a higher temperature than normal humans, and the skin of his human form was thicker, sturdier, almost impenetrable. He also retained extra strength and speed in his human form, although he was ten times stronger and faster in his wolf form.

But he did not want to change. He couldn’t change, because if he did, he wouldn’t be in control. And right then, Ryan was barely in control of his human form.

Catra had cast a sleeping spell on him before she left, creeping away in the night like a thief. She had spoken to his mother and the elders, had explained that she needed time to think. That she couldn’t commit to being marked and claimed only five months into their relationship.

That had been two weeks ago. They had spoken- she had done him the courtesy of calling him at least- and he could hear the fear in her voice.

Ryan knew that she wasn’t afraid of him. Of the marking. She was afraid of settling down, of throwing away a thousand different futures for the one where she became the Luna of a wealthy pack and lived the life she deserved.

Catra’s life hadn’t been easy, and it was obvious that she still felt she had to work hard to achieve everything. But everything changed the moment the fates had brought them together.

Ryan turned around and headed back to the compound. The Cashel pack compound was located in North Mayo, and it was almost an hour away by car. But Ryan forced himself forward, allowing the wolf that prowled inside his head to take over.

He didn’t change completely, but gained considerable speed, and he arrived at the compound soon.

Northwest Mayo was mostly deserted, something that lent itself well to the Cashel werewolves. Even though most werewolves, and most other magical beings for that matter, mingled with humanity and actually lived among humans full time, it was always good to have a safe space to hide.

Humans were unpredictable and vicious, and the Salem trials and certain other incidents were proof that it was better for the magical community to hide itself.

The Cashel compound had been built seventy years earlier by Ryan’s grandfather, then Alpha of the Cashel pack. HIs family had just fled Northern Ireland into the Republic, running from a large pack of British werewolves, and Aaron, Ryan’s grandfather had vowed to build a compound that would keep any refugee safe.

Now Ryan came running down the circular driveway that led to the barns where the pack kept its livestock. Some of the pack pups were playing outside, but night was falling and soon they would be ushered inside for dinner.

There were dozens of buildings that housed cars, farming equipment, livestock, and served as homes for the pack wolves. Ryan’s own home, the home he shared with his mother, Nora, stood at the furthest end of the compound and he slowed down as he approached it.

The Full Moon was seven nights away. Ryan could feel it in his bones, in the way his skin tingled, in the way his nerve endings flared, in the way his muscles strained, eager to change, to transform, to hunt.

In their last conversation, he told Catra she had until then to decide if she was staying or if she was rejecting him permanently. Even though he was angry that she had left, he would not force her to stay. If she had to reject him to be happy, then he would accept that.

Even if it would be the most painful thing either of them would ever endure.

Nora O’Connor was waiting for him in the kitchen when Ryan walked in.

“You been out runnin’ again?” Nora asked him, crossing her hands over her large chest. His mother looked at him with narrowed eyes and he sighed, his mouth twisting into a rueful smile.

“Ma, what do you expect me to do?” He asked. His voice was gruff from inhaling particles of flying bracken.

Ryan had gone to university in London. His time there had beaten his Irish accent down.

Most of the Cashel pack had lost their heavy Irish accents because of British influence. But, for the most part, they still sounded like home.

“My mate isn’t here with me at my side. I have to wait for her, how am I supposed to be still?”

“You have to give her time Ryan,” Nora turned back to the sink that she was scrubbing. Ryan had started building a house for himself and his future mate when he turned twenty.

But until Catra came back, his mother expected him to remain in the house they had lived in all his life.

“She isn’t a wolf. She hasn’t grown up with the same expectations that we have. We both know the girl had a hard life.”

“I know!” Ryan took the plate of food his mother pointed out for him, sitting down at the large wooden kitchen table.

“I know that, and I want her to be happy and comfortable and I want to give her everything. But she isn’t the only one who is anxious about this! I can barely sleep at night!”

“Ryan,” Nora sighed, “I think you need to accept that her needs are more important than yours now.

Besides, not everything seems as simple as you make it out to be.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ryan looked at Nora who pushed her fair hair out of her face. She was avoiding his suspicious gaze, trying to focus on the large pot on the stove in front of her. But she had already said too much.

Everyone knew that Nora had the Sight. She had been touched by the Fae and had inherited their magic. That was why she had made such an excellent Luna to his father’s Alpha. Ryan’s father had led the pack with strength, while Nora led the pack with otherworldly wisdom.

“Ma, what do you know?” He stood roughly, pushing the plate aside. He winced then, expecting her to glare at his behavior.

He had never raised his voice to his mother before. If his father were still alive, Ryan would have been sent to his room, even though he was almost thirty.

“You have to be patient my boy,” Surprisingly Nora said nothing about his raised voice, but looked at him with empathy. “There are larger things at play here. And those are the things that are influencing Catra.

You have to be patient,” she said again. “And Catra will come back to you.”

“I know she will.” He whispered the words as he sat down again, heavily, his head hanging low.

“But I feel wrong without her. I was also hesitant about marking her, but I knew it was just nerves. This is one of the most important things I will ever do.

Things just aren’t the same without her.”

“Of course, they aren’t.” Nora came around the table to him, placing a hand soothingly on his shoulder.

“Be patient my boy. And eat your supper now. You need your strength.”

***

Ryan went to bed early, unable to focus on his duties as the Alpha. He allowed his lieutenants to take over for him.

They all pitied him. None of them could imagine being without their mates for longer than a day.

Sleep was out of reach, and he tossed and turned all night, as he thought about Catra. The ball of anxiety in his chest grew, blooming into something larger and uncontrollable.

When morning came, Ryan knew he couldn’t wait for the Full Moon any longer.