Shaking my head, I reached out toward my phone, thinking of calling up Cecilia.

I was finally healed. Likely because of her, but nevertheless. I couldn’t take the fact that I had knocked my mother unconscious.

She had explained everything to me. Although Cecilia was “defending” me, I still blamed myself for all that had occurred.

“Hello?” Cecilia answered groggily. I didn’t want to disturb her, but it seemed too late.

“Hey, it’s me. I was thinking that maybe you could come over. I want to tell you about something.”

“Okay. What happened?” she asked, sounding a bit confused.

“It’s fine. I’m just curious about something, that’s all.”

“All right. I’ll be right over. Just give me some time to get dressed. I massively overslept.”

“Okay.”

And with that, I hung up the phone, but I still felt a bit uneasy.

I wanted to know more about my future, but it didn’t help that I still didn’t understand this whole thing with Christian.

I used my intuition, my head still throbbing, to attempt to gather more information.

Maybe he truly was my fated mate.

Then, there it was. A faint knocking on my door. I knew it had to have been Cecilia.

“Hi,” I said, answering the door half-heartedly. For some reason, I suddenly felt exhausted.

I had spent countless days with Cecilia, and every single time we had ever hung out, I treasured it more than I could begin to describe. Today, however, was something very different for me.

I could feel the weight of my emotions for Christian beginning to exhaust and perplex me. Already, in spite of the fact that we had never technically met. I wondered in the back of my mind what Cecilia would say about this exactly.

“What’s up?” Cecilia asked as I invited her inside. I knew she wasn’t going to like this, as she was very protective of me. But I had to tell her the truth if our friendship was going to be strong and steady.

Gesturing over toward a chair in the middle of my living room, I motioned for her to have a seat.

“I’m sorry that I invited you over so unexpectedly. But I… I just don’t really understand what is going on with a situation that I’m in and I was looking for your advice.”

She shook her head, appearing slightly troubled, but I knew that she was my genuine friend and would offer her valuable insight regardless of my opinion.

“What is it?” I asked, seeing her expression. “I haven’t even told you what it is yet.”

“I know. It’s just that… I can almost tell that you are using me to try to get to a guy like you did at the last hookup party. It’s not the first time you’ve done this,” she replied, seeming a bit cautious, but also I could tell that her curiosity had been piqued.

“Well, you haven’t even heard me explain myself. I had something so crazy happen to me yesterday,” I replied politely, warming my hands by the fire that I mustered up with a flick of my fingers. “Now I know we’re not talking spells, but you could seriously help me with understanding what happened to me through one of my spells, maybe. What do you think?”

“Do you know how to bring the guy back?” she asked eagerly, a faint touch of curiosity glittering through her eyes. I knew that she knew, somehow. She just had this uncanny way of doing this.

“No, but I need you to help me understand exactly what happened to me yesterday.”

Closing her eyes, with both reluctance and patience, at first it seemed that Cecilia was wrapped up in some type of dream world. Sort of like the one that I was in yesterday, except it was more of a trance than even I had endured.

“There’s so much that you have to look forward to. I can see it through my powers. They aren’t tapped into fully yet, but…I vaguely see it, now. How you’ll become part of something greater than yourself and fall deeply in love.”

Nodding my head in assent, I couldn’t begin to describe how grateful I felt for Cecilia, especially in that moment. It was intense. But I loved her with all my heart.

“How do you know?” I whispered. “I can’t believe you can do this. You’re so gifted!"

“I just know. It’s not something that can easily be explained. But your man is waiting for you, just as you are waiting for him.” Cecilia paused then looked at me. “What’s his name?” she asked curiously, steadily moving closer to me. “And how are your spells relevant to his arrival in your life?”

“His name is Christian. And I’ll explain.”

“Okay. What is it?” she inquired softly, seeming uncertain.

“Ashlee… there is something more powerful at work here, and I’m not sure that I’m entirely ready to take it on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that…you need to start being thankful for the things that are beyond your control. Christian might be a gift to you, and yes, you are going to be blessed by him. But God, the universe, whatever you want to call it… They are the ones actually blessing you, not this person you are attracted to or will be attracted to. I just want you to realize that.”

Nodding blindly, I simply complied. I wasn’t sure that I believed in all of that, since I was a witch and truly just lived for myself. But maybe if Cecilia believed this, then I needed to respect it, too.

“And besides, how do you expect me to be your friend when I am the one responsible for the death of your mother?”

I had almost forgotten. My mother. She died not long after I returned home. I got the news from the hospital and while I felt a little pain, I was mostly relieved. For the moment.

Shaking my head vehemently, I shuddered with pure disgust. After all I did for her, I just couldn’t believe that all she could consider was the dead body of my mother. Or rather, the ethical nature of the situation, when in reality… it was all my fault in the end.

“Cecilia, that wasn’t your fault. You and I both know that.”

“What do you mean? Of course it was. I was the one who actually killed her. Her blood was on my hands!”

Burying my face in my hands, I turned away from Cecilia forcefully, emphatically. For as long as I had been a witch, I knew that spell casting wasn’t the easiest task in the world. I still could not believe that she blamed herself for this, given that it was my mother, my problem, and I was the one, in the end, whose life she was defending.

But I knew that my misery wasn’t in vain, deep down.

Since I was overcome with emotion, and was unsure of how to act next, I pulled out some tarot cards, and decided to use their power in order to understand my future. No matter how innocent or harmless they seemed, I knew that tools like this could be used for good or for evil, depending on intent.

And that with misplaced intention, I could very well unintentionally damage anyone at all, and cause their lives to fall to ruin.

“Ash, what are you doing?” Cecilia’s voice began to rise, as she saw that I was up to something. “You know how I feel about those. They kind of freak me out.”

But it was too late for that. I had already made up my mind; the cards themselves would decide which part that fate had to play in my tryst with Christian.

“Tarot is dangerous,” Cecilia cried as she attempted to take the cards out of my hands.

“Cecilia!” I shouted, rising from my place on the floor of my home where I had been ready to spread my tarot cards.

I didn’t really get why tarot was so “taboo” in her eyes, but I did trust her judgment, in spite of all our differences in belief.

“I am telling you that you don’t need this in your life,” Cecilia urged. “Please… It makes me uncomfortable.”

“All right. Fine, we don’t need to use the deck. What do you see in my future exactly?”

“I can’t say. That’s not for you or me to determine. It’s just… I do see both good and bad things in your future, but I can’t tell you exactly all of what it is because this is not my choice or decision.”

“Then whose decision is it?!” I demanded with impatience.

All in all, I couldn’t believe that Cecilia was behaving in this way, given her supposed affinity with God and her unshakable faith, her unwavering belief in the goodness of all humanity – treating me with rejection and not supporting any of my beliefs. I knew that she was doing it to guide me in the right direction. But I couldn’t help but feel offended by her antics.

But then again, I was constantly being surprised by things in my reality.

Deep in my heart, I wanted to obey Cecilia. But it was just so tragic that I needed to obey myself, or felt I had no choice in this.

“Cecilia. I will obey you just this one time. But you need to have some type of respect for what I believe too.”

“But Ashlee. You really don’t need the tarot. You’re already so gifted on your own.”

“Fine,” I snapped. “But don’t come barging in here just because you’re jealous of the fact that I met a man yesterday, and you will forever be single.”

But my voice began to get softer, and I began to deeply regret the fact that I had said this. Nevertheless, she listened to my words, and quietly submitted to what I had said to her.

“Ashlee, that’s not true. You and I both know that. I’m not even single right now, either.”

At this, I scowled at her.

“What do you mean? If you have been dating someone, then I don’t see why you waited so long to tell me?”

“I was waiting to tell you for just the right time. I feared that you would, you know, get a little jealous of me. But now that you have your own man, I’m sure you won’t be.”

“Well, clearly, you don’t know me all that well,” I said, laughing it off heartily. Clearly I wasn’t as confident as I felt.

“Okay, so we both have men now. It’s over. Let’s forget this ever happened with the tarot and just move on from this.”

“Maybe we can find ourselves some rum or liquor and truly forget it, if you get what I mean.”

“No.” This time, it was Cecilia’s turn to laugh. “But maybe this time, I’m the crazy one.”