“What do you mean you broke up?!” Hannah’s voice cracks. “This needs to be a video call. What did he say to you?!”

I decline the video call. One, I look like a mess, and two, I’m busy putting Donovan’s Alpha Medallion in an air-tight jar so pheromones don’t keep making me sneeze.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. He was totally fine. I just freaked out when we were about to have sex, and then we had a conversation…and basically realized we want ...