Edina's pov

It was the steady beeping sound that woke me up, sunlight pouring on my face as I blinked rapidly.

For a second I couldn’t remember where I was. My head ached with every second that went by and I felt as though a thousand bricks had been placed on top of my body.

The harsh sterile white walls of the hospital lights met my eyes as they fluttered open.

My nostrils were burned by the antiseptic odor which I inhaled sharply.

Where am I?

I tried to move but it felt pointless.

Every part of my body hurt like it had been torn apart by a storm. My hands were bandaged and my limbs were rigid.

The blankets covering me were heavy but it didn't make me feel any better. They instead made me remember the nightmare I had just experienced.

The fire.

Panic took hold of me again and my heart lurched. I made an effort to sit up again but the effort was slow and confusing.

I quickly reached out and grabbed the bed's edge as if that would be enough to bring me back to earth.

Suddenly a soft voice cut through the confusion before I could even understand what was happening.

"Relax sweetheart. " A quiet female voice said." You're awake. "

A nurse showed up by my side, her face soft and comforting.

"You've been through a lot and need rest."

I was confused, my mind racing. I blinked up at her.

My throat was raw as I croaked.

" The fire. . . my condo. "

She turned back at me after her eyes briefly shifted to the monitors by the bed to check the readings and her face softened with sympathy.

"It began in your condo.. the fire. You are fortunate to be alive despite the big damage. "

I started to say something but nothing came out. My throat felt raw and tender like it was on fire.

As soon as she noticed the nurse gave me a cup of water.

I sipped it slowly, gratefully, my head still spinning.

She went on in a gentle yet firm voice

" Don't worry, you'll be fine. Someone started the fire and the police will get them. It engulfed your house entirely, but the fire department came just in time. They were able to pull you out before it got worse after they discovered you unconscious. "

I blinked as I tried to take in her words.

I was inside. I thought. My voice broke and I had to force myself not to shake.

With soothing words, the nurse went on ." You didn't lose much. Nothing too serious, just a few small burns on your hands and arms. No permanent damage, thank goodness.

A shiver went through my body. I had been rescued by someone. I wanted to ask who but the words were stuck in my throat.

"Who?" I asked but the nurse's expression changed as though she wasn't sure if she should continue.

" We don't know who called the fire department on your behalf. "

My eyes went down. I didn't know or have an explanation for why someone would have called the fire department. Why someone could have helped me

My confusion kept getting worse. Was it someone who knew me and cared enough to save me or had someone been watching me from a distance?

Another part of me however just wanted to concentrate on how grateful I was to be alive.

There was a strange calm in my chest now that I was in the safety of a hospital room even though my body still felt like it was gripped by fear.

But who could have hated me so much to want to end my life?

I turned back to the nurse.

"How many days have I been here"

" Roughly a week," she said. You've been through a lot, inhaling lots of smoke. Your vitals are within normal limits and your burns will heal in no time. But you will need to remain under observation for a few more days. "

I nodded slowly, still trying to figure out what was going on.

The loss, the damage, and the fire. There wasn't much left for me in the world. My condo which was burned to the ground had been my last remaining piece of inheritance.

I failed at everything, at marriage, at not being able to keep my inheritance.

It was all so unfair that I wanted to scream and cry.

But a drab numbness descended upon me instead.

What was left to lose and what was there to cry over? As she looked for any indications of distress on my face the nurse gently asked again.

"Do you have family nearby? Anyone who can help?"

Family?

I don't have any family left. My parents had passed away and the rest of my family, only Dr. Cole, and I couldn't call him, how many times would I get into trouble?

There was no one for me. No one.

“I… no” I muttered my voice cracking despite my best efforts to remain calm.

"I have no one. "The nurse became more sympathetic and I could see it in her eyes.

She patted my hand in a gesture of kindness that was at the same time reassuring and strange.

"You'll be alright. We will support you during this time but it will take some time. "

Although I nodded my thoughts were elsewhere. My house, the only thing left, had been destroyed by the fire.

I was still alive though. Even though it was painful to acknowledge that was a blessing in and of itself.

After some time the nurse left me to think on my own.

I reclined on the pillow and gazed up at the ceiling the only sound coming from the nearby machines. *Now what?*. I was here even though I had nothing left and nowhere to go.

I was still here. It was something. Something that until now I hadn't fully appreciated and might never have.

As I thought about my life, tears streamed down my face.

There's nothing to live for. I thought to myself, I might just end it all.

Because I'm tired of being in the circle of nonsense.

I don't care about anything, not even Dr Cole.