Cass sighs heavily and throws herself onto her bed. I lock the door behind us before collapsing onto my own mattress. We’ve survived the first day of classes without dying of boredom, which feels like a small miracle. Hours on end of ice breaker games and syllabus review have left me completely drained.

“That was the most boring day of my entire life,” Cass groans.

“How was it so boring yet so exhausting?” I ask, pulling my pillow over my head and sighing into it.

“How are we going to make it through four years of this, Lids?” she asks, sounding horrified.

“Caffeine,” I mutter in response. “Gallons of it.”

We fall into a comfortable silence. I’m debating trying to take a nap. It’s still pretty early and I didn’t sleep much last night. I keep thinking about Ezra and worrying that I’m making the wrong choice by trying to stop my transformation.

“Cass,” I ask softly, hoping that she may have dozed off.

“What’s up?”

“Do you believe in the supernatural?” I stare at the ceiling, waiting for a reply.

“Not really,” she sighs. “Like, part of me really hopes that ghosts and stuff exist, but if they did wouldn’t we have some kind of scientific evidence by now?”

“What about all of the first-person accounts of ghosts?” I turn onto my side to face her.

“People hallucinate all the time; the human brain is so crazy complex we’re lucky it doesn’t misfire more often. People could think they’re experiencing something supernatural when in reality it’s a mental health issue, or stress, or an auditory hallucination or something.” She rolls onto her stomach and faces me.

I nod, she makes a very good point. “Ok,” I conceded. “Hypothetically though, if you were shown absolute proof that something supernatural existed, how would you react?”

“I mean, that really depends on what it is,” she says thoughtfully. “If a full-on ghost appeared in this room right now, I’d be freaked out, but if it was something like my backpack moving across the desk I’d probably be more annoyed, you know?”

“What if it was something more tangible than a ghost,” I ask. “Like, for example, a vampire?”

“What would I do if a vampire just showed up here?” she asks, grinning. “I’d ask them out, vampires are stupid hot.”

I picture Karl’s face and I can’t argue. His pale skin and dark hair are a nice contrast. The way his long hair frames his face keeps his angular jaw from looking too harsh. He’s very attractive. “I’m being serious,” I say.

“Seriously, what would I do if I saw proof vampires are real?” she asks, amused. “Probably run away. I don’t know Lidia. Why?”

“It’s nothing,” I say dismissively. “Just a discussion that came up in my psychology class this morning.”

“Sounds like a fun class,” she sighs. “Wish I had been there.”

I’m about to answer her when my phone begins to ring. The sound catches me off guard and I fumble with it before answering. “Hello?”

“Lidia.” It’s Ezra, I sit up and glance over at Cass.

“Yes, what’s up?” I ask as casually as I can. “I didn’t expect to hear from you yet.”

“I haven’t arranged a meeting yet, but I wanted to check in.” His voice is gruff. “I want to stay apprised of the situation, in case something changes.”

“No, nothing yet,” I say. “Was there something specific you wanted to know?” Cass is giving me a questioning look. I shrug at her and get to my feet, walking into the bathroom and pulling the door closed. It’s the only way to get any privacy, so it will have to do.

“I’ll level with you,” Ezra says. “There’s very little information available about hybrids, so my contact is hesitant to get involved.” I feel my heart sink at those words. It was stupid of me to get my hopes up. “I’ll keep working on it,” he assures me. “In the meantime, we need to carefully monitor the symptoms you’re experiencing.”

“Symptoms?” I ask, leaning heavily against the sink.

“You remember the three phases I told you about?” he asks.

“Senses, psychic, and bloodlust,” I say thoughtfully. “That’s what you mean by symptoms?” It’s a weirdly clinical way to describe my emerging vampiric abilities.

“Exactly.” He sounds focused, and I can hear him moving something around as he talks. “I need to know how you’re progressing through the phases. We don’t know how long the process will last and if we don’t stay ahead of the changes we may run out of time.”

“Well, I haven’t noticed anything different since yesterday,” I say softly. “I didn’t even have any strange dreams last night.” It was the first time I didn’t dream of the forest in weeks. I almost missed it.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to call to check in with you daily. If we can document your experience, then we’ll be a little better prepared the next time a hybrid comes along.” There’s an excitement to his voice when he says it that’s kind of cute.

“I guess that’s fine, as long as you call later in the day, after classes are out.” I would prefer not to feel like a research subject, but I guess it can’t be helped.

“You’ll call me if there are any more incidents?” he asks. “And I’m sure you’re already taking precautions to stave off another attack.” There’s a thud from his end of the call, but he doesn’t react to it.

“I’m not going out alone after dark,” I answer. I didn’t feel like anyone was following me today, but that doesn’t mean anything. If it is one of my newly emerging senses allowing me to feel when I’m in danger, it isn’t developed enough for me to completely rely on it yet. I’m not going to take any unnecessary chances. I can’t assume someone will swoop in to save me every time.

“Good,” he sounds relieved. “I’ll talk to you soon. Hopefully I’ll have better news.” His voice is soft, as if he’s trying to keep quiet without letting me know. “Stay safe, Lidia,” he adds before hanging up.

When I walk back into the room, Cass is smirking at me. “So,” she says teasingly. “Who was that?”

I roll my eyes at her and sit back on my bed. “None of your business.”

“Oh, come on, Lidia. What are we, twelve?” she laughs. “Did you meet someone?”

“Sort of,” I shrug. “He’s helping me with something. He is pretty cute though,” I hope that this admission will distract her from asking much more.

“Oh, well good for you girl,” she smiles at me.

“What about you and Harry?” I ask, more than happy to change the subject. “How’s that going?”

She waves a dismissive hand. “He’s nice, but I’m not trying to jump into a relationship. It’s not what I’m here for, you know?”

“That’s probably smart,” I agree. I wish I were able to focus solely on my studies. My mind is being pulled in so many directions it feels like I’m going to come apart at the seams.

“I’ve got another question for you,” I say suddenly. “From psychology class.”

“Alright, I’m listening,” she says, sitting forward and focusing intently on me.

“How do you know if you can trust someone?”

“Oh,” she frowns slightly. “I thought it was going to be something fun, like if werewolves count as emotional support animals.” I laugh but shake my head. She sighs and leans back against the wall, looking thoughtful for a long time.

“I mean,” I say softly. “How can you tell if someone is worthy of being trusted?”

“Well, trust is an emotional thing, I think. It’s tricky. I guess if someone is consistent and honest you can trust them.”

“What if it’s someone you don’t know well,” I ask. “Someone you’ve only just met.” I picture Ezra’s deep, intense eyes. Does he really want to help me? Or is he just trying to learn what he can from me before he kills me?

Cass blows out a breath and raises her shoulders. “I think it’s kind of a leap of faith at that point. Trust your gut, I guess.” She smiles and grabs her pillow, throwing it across the room at me. “Can we stop being all serious now?”

I block the pillow before it can hit me in the face and throw it back to her. “I’m just making conversation.” I wish I could tell her the whole truth, but she’d think I’m crazy.

Between Ezra and Karl, I really don’t know who to trust. One told me he would kill me if I can’t stop my vampire side from taking over, the other saved my life. Both seem to know more about me than I know about myself, which is distressing.

Ezra seems to want to help, but maybe that’s just because he wants to learn more about dhampir. I wouldn’t blame him if that were true, I just worry that it means I’m disposable to him.