Dorian’s POV:

I hadn’t meant for anything to happen that night. The kiss.. it was supposed to be nothing, mean nothing more than a silly impulse crushed the very second it had sparked. Unfortunately it had slipped right through the cracks of every ounce of self-control I had, like water through a basket.

It had been nearly two weeks since the kiss and yet, I still couldn’t look at her without feeling the ghost of it all over again.

Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was her. Feel the softness of her lips, her warm breath. Her soft gasp. The way her hand had travel underneath my shirt and settled on my chest, as if maybe testing weather or not my heartbeat was real.

Nearly two weeks had passed and yet, every breath I took, tasted like her, Juliette.

I thought avoiding her like my life depended on it, like she was made of fire, would make it all go away but I was wrong. It only made it worse.

Everyday in the rink, I found new reasons in the goal crease for longer than was necessary, my head always down, mask on.

In the locker room, I either left first or came last. Even during team meetings, I kept my demeanor professionals, cold, distant.

No one bothered to ask why, but I knew they noticed. It was too obvious.

Bryan especially, after all, nothing escaped his hawk-like gaze.

There was something especially new in his eyes now, his gaze has always been sharp but now it was sharper than before, the kind that comes from a man marking and guarding his territory. The unspoken but loud message was very clear, Stay away from her.

I didn’t respond, of course. I mean, I didn’t need to. I’d always lived in the shadows of silence, I thrives in it, liver but it even.

I usually could outwait, outthink and even outlast any opponent. But lately, silence had slowly become not a weapon but either a blanket to hide in or an enemy.

Now when things became quiet again, when the rink had emptied out for the day, the lights dimmed, instead of the peace I’d usually felt before, my thoughts turned traitorous.

My mind filled with the beautiful melody of her laughter, the memory of her hand brushing against skin that wasn’t mine, the flash in her beautiful eyes when she smiled.

I told myself it was nothing more than proximity, no big deal. Just a bit of attract. Just human nature.

It was a lie, of course, and I knew it.

Juliette Mercer had somehow found a way to crawl under my skin even I even understood what was happening.

You know what the very worst part was? She didn’t even know the effect she had on me.

Every time we were in close proximity or she walked into the rink when I was there, my heart would skip beats.

Every time she said “god morning” with that beautiful, easy smile of hers to one of the boys, I felt something very dark stir inside of me.

I caught her looking too, sometimes.. she didn’t do it very often, or very obvious, but it was enough for me to notice.

Those really quick glances she’d steal, trying to hide under the guise of professionalism. The way her petite hands trembled just a little bit whenever she was working close to… him.

My life was built strictly on discipline, and now, it felt like everything was crumbling just because of a woman who wasn’t even aware of the power she wielded.

It drove me nearly to the brink of insanity.

By the next week, I thought I’d mastered it again. I thought I’d gotten my power back.

I’d slipped back into my armor: the blank , unreadable expression plastered on, the even tone, the steady rhythm and flow of my focus. I’d finally buried every stray thought in brutal drills, practice, sweat, and I repeated until my body hurt way worse than my mind did.

And then she laughed.

I was midway across the rink, almost done setting up for a drill, and then I heard it, soft, light, unrestrained, beautiful, a melody that things to my heart, a melody that cracked something open in me, something I didn’t even know I possessed.

I looked up before I could even stop myself. There she was, not very far away from me, she stood with Caleb, usual tape in hand, smiling at something he’d said.

The sight hit me harder than a punch to the ribs would.

She looked so alive in the way the rest of the world around us just didn’t.

And for one second, one selfish second, I wanted that.. that smile, her, I wanted everything about her to belong to me.

Catching myself, I clenched my jaw, trying to shake the thought off as I looked away.

Immediately practice ended, I was the very first person to leave the ice per my usual routine now.

I needed to be away from here, I needed to be somewhere else - anywhere else- before I do something stupid against my better judgement yet again.

But as usual, fate had other plans to satiate it’s cruel sense of humor.

I went back to the locker rooms that evening because I’d forgotten something, and there, right there was Juliette, alone in the hallway that led right to the locker rooms, she was so focusedly rummaging through her kit obviously looking for something that she didn’t notice someone else was there.

I froze.

Her hair which was usually in high ponytail during the day was loose, the soft ends brushing over the collar of her jacket. The dimly lit flourescent lights gave her skin a soft, almost ethereal golden glow.

She didn’t see me. She wasn’t supposed to be here, yet here she was.

I should’ve kept walking, or even turned around and headed right back, but I didn’t.

“Mercer.”

She looked up, obviously startled. Her eyes widened just a little bit, but almost immediately she smoothed her expression back into something.. neutral. “Dorian.”

Fuck, the way she said my name.. I couldn’t miss the little hitch in her voice, or the way her hands obviously tightened around the strap of her bag ss though it was a lifeline.

I really should have just walked away, saved us both the drama. Lord knows it would have been better, easier. But instead I took a step in her direction, then another step closer, then another.

The closer I got, the more the air between us shifted, the more it charged, heavier than every inch I closed between us.

“You shouldn’t be here, especially this late.” I said, trying to keep my tone even, low.

“Well I could say the same to you,” she shot back softly. “Besides, you don’t own the place.”

I sighed. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yes, I know.”

The silence that followed between us stretched so thin, alive and changed with things neither of us dared to name.

Somewhere in the locker room, a pick clattered against the boards, suggesting that we weren’t alone. I shouldn’t be here.

“Listen, about the other night—“ she started, cutting into my thoughts.

“It didn’t mean anything.” I cut in, too quickly.

The words came out so rough, they felt way too sharp and I couldn’t help hating myself for them the very minute they left my lips.

Her expression faltered a little, then her face fell only for a small minute, before she nodded, plastering a fake smile on. “Of course.”

But her tone— quiet, steady, a little too composed—something in jt, cut tight through me.

I dragged a hand through my hair, the weight of the guilt pressing down on me hard. “Juliette—“

“No, it’s alright.” She started as she slung the bag over her shoulders, her movements smooth and quick. “You don’t owe me any explanations Dorian. I shouldn’t even have—“

“Stop.”

She looked up at me, a flicker of something that looked like hurt in her eyes for a heartbeat, then it was gone.

I stepped closer, even slower this time. Close enough to see the way her chest rose and fell slightly which it breathe she drew.

“I’m really trying J.” I said, voice breaking just enough to betray me. “I’m really trying to do the right thing here..”

“The right thing? By pretending it didn’t happen? She replied with a soft, incredulous laugh.

I exhaled, trying to steady myself. “By keeping you safe Juliette.”

“From what Dorian? You?” She laughed incredulously, again.

“Yes Mercer, from me.” I said after a long pause. “From what happens when people get too close to me. You could get burnt.”

She laughed again but it wasn’t the same.. it almost sounded like a sound born out of pain “You dont hurt people Dorian, you don’t let them get close enough for that. You shut them out, exactly like you’re doing right now.”

I almost smiled, almost.

“You’re just scared.” She said softly.

“You should be too.” I said, my voice low.

I locked eyes with her as my right hand creased her cheek.. trying to resist the urge to kiss her so badly.

Then without another word, I turned and walked right past her, so close that the scent of her skin followed me like.. like a curse the I just couldn’t shake off.

But just as I reached the very end of the hallway, I heard her voice again, very soft but steady.

“Stop running, Dorian. You’re not saving anyone by pretending you don’t care.”

I froze for half a second, but I didn’t turn back. If I turned back, only the heavens could stop me from going back to her and doing things I’d probably regret.

I kept walking, further away, out of the building and into the cold, dark night. Away from the only thing—person— that made me feel alive.

And it hurt.