"Wow, is it time for grievances now, sweetheart? Fine. Then let me complain too—stop saying that lunatic is my lover. I’ve told you before, even if this marriage is fake, I respect you. And I expect the same from you, because I swear, if I ever find out you have a lover, I’ll charge you a million euros for moral damages. And for the record—your slap almost left me with a permanent injury."

I squint at him, about to reply, when a sudden bang on the window makes me jump. At that exact ...