“So, let me get this straight: you tried to remove the fish hook – with another fish hook?”

Edmund sterilises his gloves, silently begging the army to pull up outside the surgery door right now. He’s genuinely convinced that being around so much stupid is costing him his own intelligence.

“Okay, but it wouldn’t budge, you see,” Mr Bingley elaborates, voice trembling. “So, Allen tried with his gutting knife. Just forgot he’d sharpened it the ...