Rissa Pov

I didn’t return to the pack house.

I just couldn’t.

Instead, I began wandering through the woods, my feet were bare and swelling, my mind was quite unstable even though it looked like a storm of silence. I kept walking until the stars blurred and the moon disappeared behind clouds thick with judgment, as though it also gave into all that I had just gotten in one night.

Eventually, I made it to nowhere outside our territory but I could hear distant loud music. The bar seems to buzz with life, loud and unaware of broken fated mates from another territory. I went into the bar and blended in easily. No one cared that I had just been unbounded by the man I loved.

No one here knew I was once Luna.

And tonight, that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to live my life really outside the walls of the pack house.

The bar music was really loud. Lights pulsed red and blue. The music thrummed like a heartbeat gone mad. I went deeper inside to meet with the bartender, the air thick with sweat, alcohol, and human desperation. Everyone obviously had something they were fighting within them.

Perfect, just what I wanted!

I sat at the counter, ignoring the looks of men lusting after my body, the half-smiles, the curiosity. The bartender raised a brow as he poured my drink.

“Having a bad night?” he asked.

“That’s an understatement. Worst of my life,” I said flatly.

“Mind to share?” The bartender asked in concern.

I kept mute.

He nodded like he had seen similar scenarios before from most likely some depressed folks that had hit the bar. He didn’t stress me for an answer “First one’s on me.”

I drank very fast without asking what drink it was. Who cares! I just needed some alcohol to ease my pains.

The burn was welcoming. It masked the ache in my chest and I loved it. A second drink followed. Then a third. Somewhere between the fourth and fifth, my body became relaxed and my thoughts grew sluggish with my eyes getting quite blurry.

I just didn’t want to Know anything tonight and I was ready to make it happen.

Not a thing about my future. Not my past. Not even about my worth, not like I really worth anything.

Especially how that my soul was still whispering Josh’s name.

“You’re just too pretty to look this miserable,” a voice said beside me.

I turned to find a handsome looking stranger leaning on the counter. Tall. Clean-shaven. With a kind of dangerous smile. He looked nothing like Josh.

That was a relief, I didn't want to get caught up tonight with another Josh. Had one already for the night and I guess the humiliation was more than enough.

“Maybe I just like being miserable,” I replied, swirling my drink.

He chuckled. “I’m Mark.”

“Rissa.”

His smile widened. “I guess you don't come here often?”

“No. Just got my heart torn out and trampled on by the man I thought would love me forever. He was my fated mate.”

Maybe the Moon goddess had lied, though it seemed quite impossible but what could explain all these. No one has the answers I seek so here I am.

“Just drinking myself stupid.”

Mark blinked and didn't say a word till I was done talking, he was shocked and thrilled at the same time about how I spoke. Then he laughed. “You are brutally honest. I like that.”

I didn’t seem to answer afterwards. I didn’t need a conversation, I didn't want to get talked into loving again. I needed something reckless. Something stupid. Something to make me forget that I was once claimed, marked, mated—and then rejected, thrown away like thrash like I meant nothing.

I slid off the bar stool and turned toward the dance floor. “Come on, pulling him gently.”

Mark followed without question. He didn't even resist me. The crowd swallowed us, the music pulsing like it could force out the grief in my bones. I chose to let go. I moved and danced with him like I didn’t care. Because I didn’t.

Not tonight.

Sweat slicked my skin. My limbs loosened. I let Mark’s hands rest on my sexy hips. Allowed his muscular looking body to press against mine. I didn’t care who he was. I just didn’t want to Know.

We got so into each other after a long erotic dance and left for the motel behind the bar. He paid, I just didn't care. I didn’t ask his last name. He didn’t ask mine.

In the dim, worn-out room, I let him touch me.

Let him worship a body that felt hollow.

Let him give me something to feel, even if it wasn’t love.

Even if it wasn’t real.

I just needed something to take my mind off Josh.

He planted soft kisses on my lips.

And when we got locked into each other, that was all I lastly remembered before morning.

____

Morning

My body was aching a bit from last night's fun and I was bare on the bed. It was obvious I had a nasty night with a stranger.

Sunlight stabbed through the dusty blinds. My head throbbed and I blinked slowly from the rays.

The bed was cold beside me.

I looked around the room and it seemed empty.

Mark was gone.

He left no note. No trace at all.

I stared at the ceiling, nausea curling in my stomach. Not just from the alcohol.

From the truth.

I had given myself to a stranger to forget another man who had destroyed me.

And I still felt broken, even worse now.

Because I can't even tell what came next.

I just grew more stupid every passing minute.