I honestly feel ashamed. I feel sick, my insides twisting uncomfortably. Food doesn’t help and neither is the peppermint tea that my mother insisted on giving me when I said I wasn’t feeling well. I haven’t slept well for the past week, and I know exactly why all of this is happening.

After the gig last week, I texted Felix that I wouldn’t be able to make our tutoring sessions because I was filming promotions and performing. While that was all true, there was another reason I ...