I put her on speaker, typing my name into Google as fast as I could. The articles with the most views were the ones featuring me giving the finger with my sham engagement ring on. They were all headlined with some variation of "Rohan's new fiancée doesn't give a damn what you think of her."

None of them were written by Tia. Fingers crossed that meant she was planning on showing to our rendezvous today.

"It's not that bad," I said. If this was the sum total of carnage as a ...