The Five Star Motel was a study in false advertising. Three of the stars in the neon sign were blown out, the restaurant offered an all-you-could-eat fish buffet that from the parking lot reeked like a salmonella extravaganza, and the pool hosted a thriving community of algae.

"I would have ponied up for an extra star," I said, stepping over a broken bottle outside our scratched motel room door.

Oh, look. The outside was the nice part.

I eyed the brown, stained ...