Like Harry Potter, I escaped facial carnage, though there was no magical train waiting on the other side.

Arms askew, I skittered to a stop on a slippery rock ledge, knocking pebbles into the waterfall that fell from above me. They immediately burned up, as things do when the waterfall is made of spitting and hissing orange-red corrosive lava. My eyes watered from the stench of brimstone and hate.

It was the Reichenbach Falls on a bad acid trip.

"You. Need. ...