THE WIFE HE COULD'NT LOVE

CHAPTER ONE

Elara’s POV

The harsh sound of Adrian's vibrating phone broke the silence of our bedroom. 

I yawned and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 5:43 a.m. Too early for anyone decent to be texting. It was already time to wake Adrian up to prepare for work while I went downstairs to make breakfast for him. He had a meeting to attend and I didn't want him to go late or go without eating. 

While I was trying to prepare my mind to get out of bed, the phone buzzed again.

I stirred, blinking groggily at the ceiling thinking of getting it or waking him up. However, it stopped. “Thank God,” I mumbled. Trying to remove the sheets covering me. But then, it started vibrating again and again. 

I looked at the phone glowing on his nightstand, and curiosity pricked my chest.

Who’s messaging him this early? I whispered inwardly. I turned over to the other side instinctively and Adrian lay there, deep in sleep, with one arm tucked under the pillow, and the other resting on his stomach like always.

My legs swung off the bed as I stood up from my side of the king-sized bed and walked to his side to at least silence the phone. But just as I hesitantly picked up the phone, something inside me wanted to know the content of the messages. I knew he hated me touching his things, especially his phone. But something tugged harder at me than his rules.

I shook it off and entered his password. The screen opened for me to start accessing, and the notifications were stacked like a list of important information.

“Have you told her?” It was a message from his best friend, Luke. Hmmm… I got more curious. “Told me what? 

“You’ll never understand, Luke. I tried. I did. Elara is beautiful. She’s kind. But I can’t love her. And the worst is I don't know how to tell her.”

“You should find a way, bro. Let her know already. She’s a nice person and doesn't deserve this. Why did you even marry her?” 

At this point, I was shaking. W…what are they talking about? It can't be me, right? 

“You know why Luke. She reminds me of Celine. That’s why I married her. I just wanted a piece of Celine back. But…it’s not even working. She can't be equal to my Celine.”

My breath caught in my throat. My fingers trembled as if the phone had burned me.

I scrolled down.

“It’s not even about her anymore. It’s the void Celine left. I thought Elara could fill it.”

“She tries so hard. And I… I hate myself for lying to myself every single day. She's not her and can't be her.”

The air left my lungs in a sharp and quiet exhale.

My hand flew to my mouth, muffling the gasp that wanted to tear free. My heart thudded loudly, heavily, and painfully.

A sudden stillness filled my body. Adrian was just there… inches away, sleeping as if the world was his. As if he hadn't hurt me most cruelly.

I turned to look at him. His face was peaceful and untroubled. His brows slightly furrowed, even in sleep. The same man I cooked for, disobeyed my grandpa for, and loved. The same man who wouldn’t hold me even when I initiated it. Who never said “I love you” back.

Now I know why.

I dropped the phone like it was poison and backed away. My chest ached. I could feel something breaking inside me. My ribs were tightening around my heart like a cage.

“No…no, no.”

I stumbled out of the room. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I needed to breathe.

Tears welled up so fast that my world shattered. I wiped at them, but more came. My feet moved on instinct through the hallway, and then I leaned weakly against a nearby door to steady myself.

But the moment my shoulder pressed into it, the doorknob slipped open beneath me.

I fell backwards into a room I had never entered before. I scrambled up quickly, my heart was still beating so fast from the messages. I was ready to leave. Adrian had warned me never to enter the room for any reason. But something stopped me.

I turned slowly. It was a painting, no different paintings… slowly I walked to the center of the room, glancing at all of them. I couldn't count all of them, it was too much. Some were displayed canvases, pinned to the wall, framed with gold, and some were left unfinished. What gave me serious concern was that they were all images of the same woman.

Adrian’s ex, Celine. With her long wavy hair, Almond eyes, and well-sharpened cheekbones.

“Omg! 

It was like staring into a distorted mirror. The resemblance was haunting.

If not for the dark mole above her brow, I would’ve believed I was looking at myself. My legs trembled beneath me.

I looked around the room. No wonder Adrian never wanted me in this room. To even think that this room was regarded as his safe place broke me into pieces. While I am out there, doing everything to please him, loving him, and making him happy, he's here drawing and imagining being with his ex. 

How wicked and selfish can one be? 

It makes sense now. The walls were painted a smooth ivory, exactly like the color he had insisted we use for our dining room. The drapes matched the ones Adrian picked for our bedroom. The faint music playing from the old record player in the corner… it was the same song he danced with me to during our anniversary.

But this wasn’t mine. None of it was ever mine. I moved closer to one of the paintings. Celine wore a crimson elegant flowing dress, the type he had always wanted me to wear.

I remembered the exact moment Adrian gifted me the same one, two months into our marriage. I thought it was a romantic gesture.

Now, I know better. It wasn’t romance. It was an imitation. I turned to another corner. And saw a glass, and a tinted violet bottle. I picked it up with shaky hands. It was my perfume. The one Adrian had made to wear. But I hated the fragrance but I had to wear it to make him happy.

A sob crawled up my throat. I gripped the bottle, squeezing it so hard my knuckles turned white.

This room was his safe haven. He wanted her so badly that he made me live in her shadows. I had been too blind to see.

Tears filled my eyes again. My heart was beating so fast at the amount of betrayal I was feeling. “This can't be happening.” 

I sobbed until I found myself on the floor holding my chest with my hands as if it wanted to pull out. “You can't do this to me, Adrian.” This was too much for me to bear. 

Suddenly, the door behind me flung open. I whirled around, with my heart hammering. Someone stood there in the doorway. Frowning like he was going to kill someone. 

My breath hitched as I shivered in fear.